Bolt's Story

When I was a child, I could sense that animals possessed a special kind of magic. They held something within them that brought laughter, soothed sorrow, and made the world brighter. The special magic I felt with them seemed to flow from their pure, trusting, and deeply feeling nature and unabashed joy at being the object of affectionate attention.

 

I saw a mystery inside animals, a beautiful and meaningful secret in their eyes that they longed to share. Their profound generosity of spirit and trustability would make them my greatest teachers and most soulful of confidants. And for this reason, it was when I was with animals that I felt most truly at home – most alive, purposeful, authentic, and secure in the direct recognition of who I really was and why I was here.

 

Although my childhood self would have lacked the words to express this, I just knew that when I would befriend a stray kitten, comfort a scared puppy, or save a hapless grasshopper from being crushed underfoot, something magical happened that didn't happen with people. And given a choice between playing with my friends or tending to a lost puppy, the lost puppy won every time. 

 

Business As Usual

 

​Life moved forward through adolescence and then adulthood, and as it did, I became increasingly estranged from myself. I was captive to the endless series of small and seemingly harmless compromises I believed were necessary for ensuring my financial survival and culturally-defined sense of success. But although I became a high-performing business professional, some part of me could still hear the whisperings of the secrets I had heard from animals during my childhood. And it was for this reason that my business endeavors were never purely transactional - never just about closing the next deal and adding another point to a scorecard. Instead, business became an arena for cultivating relationships of trust and being of genuine service to others. 

 

All forms of interaction with other living beings - including business interactions - afford opportunities to gain insights into others' hopes and dreams and to play a part in fulfilling them. It was this conviction that was my animating ethos. But if someone had asked me where this ethos originated, I could not have said. 

 

Looking back, I now know it came from the long hours I spent in the company of animals. After all, it was from animals that I could hear secrets hidden from others — secrets about what ultimately mattered and what made life worth living.But though I had heard and heeded these secrets in my childhood, it would be decades before I came to realize that my life's work lay less in the human world and more in the animal one. Yes, I had pets that I loved deeply, but it never occurred to me that animals might play a central role in my truest and most rewarding vocation. And so my life continued on, "business as usual," with me never dreaming that my path was about to take an utterly unexpected yet fateful turn.    

 

And Then Came Bolt

 

In the summer of 2014, I came across a small, matted, malnourished dog chained to a doghouse in the back of a home I was showing to a client. Despite being fully grown, it was doubtful this dog had ever been bathed, much less groomed. His fur was so long and matted that it obstructed his vision, made drinking difficult, and ensured his bottom half looked and smelled like a diaper pail.

 

My heart went out to him. I vowed then and there to rescue him from his life of neglect and misery. I insisted to the homeowner that he be released to my care, and within hours, Bolt - the name I had given to this brave survivor - was on his way home to a new life. And although I didn't yet know it, Bolt was leading me home to a new life - a life of healing and wholeness that had been waiting for both of us. 

 

Unseen, Unwanted, Unchosen

 

For all his infinite loveableness, Bolt had been unwanted. The reason he was unwanted was because he was unseen. His true nature and value had remained invisible to the people he depended on for love, care, security, and comfort. Bolt was never truly seen, and therefore he was never truly chosen. And it was this betrayal of trust - this failure to be chosen - that formed the core of the trauma he had suffered. 

 

The immeasurable harm we can do to other living beings was deeply impressed on my heart the moment I discovered Bolt chained to his doghouse. Even when it doesn't involve physical abuse or neglect, this harm can be so profound as to produce enduring neurological impacts. Grief can be so devastating and debilitating that it may wrack our bodies with mysterious physical pain or chronic illness that stands as a testament to the depth of the emotional harm we have yet to heal from. 

 

The Clear Mirror of Shared Experience 

 

Bolt's experience was not so terribly different from my own. In this sense, the truth of what he had undergone acted as a clear mirror to many of my own wounds - wounds I am aware many of us share. None of us escape entirely the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune." Pain and loss are natural parts of our existence and something many of us struggle to come to terms with, sometimes wondering if the world can ever be trusted or if life is worth living. 

​

Before Bolt, there was much I had not yet come to terms with. On some level, I knew that in discovering him in that backyard, I was also discovering long-forgotten and deeply neglected parts of myself that had never felt chosen. And it was my love for Bolt, and his for me, that would powerfully call me to once more remember, befriend, and reclaim these lost parts of myself. And in so doing, prepared me to successfully walk the path that Bolt's life was gradually pointing me toward.

 

Faith, Trust, and Being Chosen

 

​When Bolt came into my life, he mistrusted everyone. Even so, he vulnerably gave himself over to my care, placing his fate in my hands. This trust was a profound gift that was deeply healing to me. Why? Bolt somehow sensed that I considered my stewardship of him sacred. He sensed my commitment to his care and protection and my absolute loyalty to those I loved. And because this fierce loyalty is core to my character, I felt truly seen and unconditionally chosen.

 

A joy entered me that I had never known before as I gave Bolt my love, and he returned it in spades. Even now, I recall with great warmth our ritual of cuddling over coffee. When I held him and felt his heartbeat, I felt my heart more deeply. I recall the comfort he took in his blankets, knowing he would never be cold and lonely again. I recall him practically dancing for joy, tail wildly wagging, at the mention of treats or outdoor adventures. And I recall his goofy, crooked, adorable doggie smile that never failed to melt my heart.

 

But for all his impossibly endearing charms, the most significant thing about my relationship with Bolt was this: he could see things in me hidden from others behind a carefully constructed social presentation. It wasn't that this presentation was disingenuous; it was simply that there was a lot more behind it than met the eye. Bolt's sensing, seeing, and mirroring of the goodness of these deeply hidden parts of myself had a profoundly transformative effect on my life. 

 

The Primary Need for Positive Mirroring

 

And no wonder. This need for positive mirroring is critical to our development as human beings. It assumes its primary form in our relationships with our parents, eventually expanding into our peer groups, romantic partnerships, and professional lives. (In the latter case, the quest for the experience of being chosen can assume compulsive proportions as "success" and status become substitutes for this primary need.) From a developmental perspective, by feeling truly chosen by our parents, we lay claim to our own worth, become self-determining, and discover and successfully act on our sense of purpose.

 

When others see our inherent worth and reflect our goodness to us, we learn to trust the world and feel that life is worth living, no matter what may come. This is the deeper function of all relationships – be they with humans or animals: to open our hearts so that we can successfully pursue and express our unique purpose to make the world a better, more beautiful place. 

 

Soul Pacts — The Way of Healing and Wholeness

 

For many people, especially those who have sustained early developmental wounds from not being chosen, relationships with animals and the deep magic they work on our hearts can provide the missing piece. When an animal chooses us, this gift provides us the opportunity to begin to recover our faith in our own goodness and to develop greater trust in the world and in the sometimes difficult experience of being alive. 

 

It was Bolt who showed me that the possibilities for healing and wholeness - even in the face of unspeakable tragedy - are beyond what we normally dream possible. Healing and wholeness occur naturally when we develop the capacity to "mourn with those who mourn" so that they are not abandoned to their grief. 

 

But this first demands a reckoning with our own losses and disappointments on the road to deeper connection with our hearts and the hearts of others. Animals can be key allies in this quest. The animals we love come into our lives for this very purpose. These are the animals with whom we share nothing less than a sacred soul pact.

 

These soul pacts represent mutual, sacred vows to support, inspire, and assist the other in fulfilling their deepest potential and purpose. They provide the basis for coming to a deeper understanding of ourselves and why we are here. They often act as portals to our deepest creativity; for some of us, they alter our life's path. 

 

The Shared Hero's Journey of Humans and Animals

 

Perhaps you've heard of the Hero's Journey. It depicts a path of personal transformation common to all times and cultures. It is a mythological motif that forms the backdrop of films as diverse as Star Wars, Erin Brockovich, The Hunger Games, Schindler's List, The Shawshank Redemption, Gone With the Wind, Casablanca, and any meaningful story ever told. 

The essence of the Hero's Journey is this: the hero is summoned by a call to adventure - a call that requires they leave their known world. In answering this call, the hero faces great obstacles, adversity, and danger. At the moment when the hero has exhausted their efforts and all seems to be lost, a helper appears. This helper brings a gift that aids the hero in their quest. The hero forges on and becomes victorious in their quest, returning once more to the known world, transformed, and bearing gifts to bless others.

 

But humans aren't the only ones who find themselves navigating the hero's journey. Bolt and I both received a call to adventure and were summoned to a new world the day I discovered him in the backyard. Just when Bolt must have felt all was lost, I appeared to help him. And just at the point in my life where I was at most risk of losing the thread to my deeper calling with animals, Bolt appeared to help me find this great treasure, leaving me transformed in the process. 

 

Companion and working animals have their own hero's journey and often play prominent roles in humans' hero's journeys. Examples include animals that save children from drowning, defend their caregivers from assault, locate lost people, provide security and comfort to individuals with anxiety or depression, and much more. And animals in the natural world also play a role in the larger hero's journey of the earth itself and all its inhabitants, reflecting to us our intrinsically free, sovereign nature and connecting us with our hearts in ways that inspire meaningful change.

 

Bolt Prepares to Pass 

 

In the summer of 2021, Bolt began communicating that he was preparing to pass. For example, I could sense that he still wanted to take walks even though this activity had become too taxing. Because I saw it as my honor and responsibility to anticipate and respond to Bolt's every want and need, I immediately purchased a doggie stroller to ensure the pleasure of walks would continue.

 

Bolt loved his stroller, and we became a four-wheeled fixture at parks, coffee shops, canyon trails, mountain lakes, and even Home Depot and Gardner's Village. That stroller was one of the best purchases I ever made. The stroller made it even easier for me to communicate to Bolt that he deserved to be cherished and celebrated.

 

The Power of Presence

 

When our animal companions pass, it is vital to be present with them as they make this transition. Of course, this first requires the capacity to be present with our own difficult experience, and developing this capacity takes time and practice. 

​

Over a decade ago, I had a special rescue cat, Asher, who passed away suddenly. At that time in my life, I had not yet developed the capacity for stable presence. The loss of Asher felt like just one more devastating storm I was ill-prepared to weather, and it took me down emotionally. Rather than remaining present with my grief and Asher's suffering and death, I was carried away with a sense of profound loss that lost touch with the deeper meaning of what was transpiring. But it was the realization that I had essentially missed the sacred moment of Asher's passing that strengthened my commitment to continue the practice of presence.  

 

As I sensed that Bolt's passing was imminent, I vowed that my final act of love and service would be to companion him with unwavering presence as he completed his earthly journey. Through the process of Bolt's passing, I never left his side. Not just with my body but with my whole being. I kept my heart open to the love and the pain, telling Bolt I would never forget him and would miss him every day, as would his brother Joey and the rest of his human family. 

 

I reminded Bolt of our countless adventures and told him that I looked forward to many more if and when he might once more appear in my life in another form. I thanked him for coffee cuddles, for the endless laughter he brought, and mostly, for being my doggie. His appearance and presence in my life were no mere coincidence. He chose me, and I chose him, and the profound impact this had on my life can never be underestimated. And so, with full presence, I got to hold Bolt one last time, care for him one last time, and kiss him one last time as he fulfilled his final soul pact with me and made the divine and sacred Great Crossing. 

 

Bolt's Parting Gift

 

I believe the final fulfillment of all soul pacts occurs at the moment of death. When the animal we share a soul pact with passes, our hearts break open, and in this openness, their parting gift is revealed. Whether the recognition of this gift comes suddenly or dawns over time, the gift is nonetheless given. 

 

Many people report feeling the presence of their loved ones after death. Whether this feeling represents an actual encounter with the afterlife or is simply an enduring testament to the depth of our undying love for those dear to us, the experience brings comfort and is often accompanied by flashes of inspiration. 

 

Within days of Bolt's passing, my mind and heart were overflowing with ideas and inspiration, all leading to the launch of My Funny Valentine — an animal-welfare-focused foundation built on the recognition of the significance of soul pacts between animals and humans. 

 

The creation of My Funny Valentine in the immediate wake of Bolt's death was no accident. My whole life, I had felt a profound connection with animals and a resounding call to making the world a better place for them. But until Bolt, I was unable to see a way forward, unable to imagine how the call I felt to animals could ever become my vocation. And it was Bolt's parting gift of inspiration that made it possible for me to dream my worthiest dream and make it a concrete reality. 

 

Bolt showed me that life and death are the twin movements of a single, beneficent spirit that forms the invisible ground of our very existence. Bolt taught me that our relationships with animals can serve as bridges to our own and others' hearts, making us more kind, generous, and compassionate. Never have I been more connected to my heart since Bolt came into my life, and this connection has only deepened since his passing. Neither the timing of his entrance into my life nor the timing of his transition was less than providential. And when I look at a favorite photo of Bolt on the shores of a lake we both loved, my heart is overwhelmed with joy to see him completely content and finally at peace.

 

Bolt did nothing less than change the course of my entire life, and we remain together still, bound together in a soulful adventure expressed in the ongoing growth of My Funny Valentine Animal Foundation. My Funny Valentine represents a convergence of devoted human partners, extraordinary animals, and what I continue to feel as Bolt's guiding spirit. 

 

Come what may, Bolt is and will forever be my Funny Valentine.